


I Love You

by lesbianxcatra



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Catra is Whipped (She-Ra), Catra is in Love with Adora (She-Ra), Drunk Adora (She-Ra), F/F, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Jealous Adora (She-Ra), Lesbian Catra (She-Ra), Lesbian Disaster Adora (She-Ra), Oblivious Adora (She-Ra), POV Adora (She-Ra), POV Catra (She-Ra), Past Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Soft Catra (She-Ra), don't worry it's cute, it's cute I swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26890738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianxcatra/pseuds/lesbianxcatra
Summary: Catra and Adora both come to the conclusion that they love each other for the first time during a tipsy game of truth or dare in the Horde.Also, Adora and Catra saying I love you for the second time after the war.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 234





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! I wrote this all in one sitting because I could not get this idea out of my head.  
> Follow me on twitter I need friends :) @catrashands
> 
> also CW for alcohol

**_Catra_** ****

Catra had run out of the room from another training session, she went to sit on the same ledge as always trying to calm herself down. She didn’t understand what the pain in her chest was that happened sporadically. Her palms would sweat and she started to feel faint, it was not something she wanted to deal with. The cool air always seemed to help, and it helped not to be in front of anyone when this started to happen.  
  
Even though Catra knew Adora always would follow her and find her, it still surprised her every time that she kept trying.  
“Catra?” Adora said as she struggled to climb up to her. “Why’d you run out? We were doing really well back there.”  
  
Catra didn’t answer her, she hugged her knees to her chest and turned her head away. She knew she was about to cry but didn’t have an explanation to blame it away on. Adora touched her shoulder and she flinched scooting away from her more and more.  
  
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”  
  
Catra still doesn’t answer. She didn’t know why she did this, but she wanted to see if Adora would keep trying even if she acted cold toward her. It was a type of validation that only Adora could give to her. She had no ill intention with her actions, she just had a deep fear that Adora was lying when she was reaching out to her. But she always seemed to be able to reach her no matter what. She knew her actions weren’t fair, but the need for validation clouded her judgement.  
  
Adora swung her legs over the edge and sat next to Catra, immediately Catra turned and grabbed the back of her shirt. “You do not have the type of balance you need to sit on this.”  
  
Adora smiled and scooted closer. “What happened back there?”  
  
“I just started to feel weird.” Catra whispered, turning her head away again. The tears started falling down her face and she had started to hate more and more the idea of crying in front of people. It was okay when she was a child but the idea of showing weakness was worse than not being comforted.  
  
“Okay.” Adora said as she reached out and squeezed Catra’s hand. “You don’t have to talk about it. I’ll just sit here with you.”  
Catra didn’t know why but Adora’s words made her sob immediately without control. “Catra?” Adora said more urgently. “I can go if you want but I really don’t want to leave you like this-”  
  
“Adora.” Catra said through her tears. “Stay, okay? Please stay.”  
  
Adora squeezed Catra’s hand harder and when Catra felt it she turned her body toward Adora and wrapped herself around her. Adora started to teeter on the ledge from the force and they both gasped and laughed while slowly getting down.  
  
“You’re an idiot, I told you, you have zero balance.” Catra laughed, wiping her tears away.  
  
“You’re the one who leaned on me and almost knocked me off!” Adora gently shoved Catra and they both kept laughing.  
  
“Thanks… for coming to sit with me, or whatever.”  
  
“Of course.” Adora smiled once again grabbing Catra’s hand.  
  
Catra squeezed her hand and smiled back. “I don't know what happened, I started to feel dizzy and weak. Like I couldn’t breathe.”  
  
“Like, anxious?”  
  
“What!? I am not anxious, I just felt weird.”  
  
“Kinda sounds like anxiety.”  
  
“Whatever.”  
  
“Kyle has anxiety attacks -”  
  
“Oh my god, Adora. Don’t say that.”  
  
“It’s not something to be embarrassed by! Seriously, Catra. It’s okay.”  
  
“Don’t tell anyone.”  
  
“Catra,” Adora said as she pulled Catra into a hug. Catra went soft and felt the stress leave her body as she put her head on her chest. She wrapped her arms around Adora’s body and let more of her tears fall. “I won't tell anyone. If you feel anxious again just give me a hand squeeze. I’ll make an excuse and I’ll get us out of wherever we are.”  
  
Catra sniffled and whispered “You promise?”  
  
“Yes, no questions asked.”  
  
A quick thought passed through Catra’s head that she immediately shut down. She pulled away from Adora without another word. “I’m ready to go back. Don’t want anyone thinking I’m crying or anything.”  
  
“Yeah, alright.” Adora laughed and they held hands as they walked back down.

**_Adora_**

After the incident on the rooftop earlier in the day, Adora had a hard time leaving Catra’s side. She always was near her to the point that Catra started to become visibly annoyed.  
  
“I’m okay, Adora! I feel fine.”  
  
“I’m just checking! You don’t usually admit something is wrong.”  
  
Catra looked at her like she had just said something extremely offensive. “Did you just… over-analyze me?”  
  
“Sorry that I know you better than you do.” Adora smirked.  
  
“Whatever.” Catra smiled back as she curled up in Adora’s blanket on her bed.  
  
Adora sat next to her quietly twiddling her thumbs as Lonnie, Rogelio, and Kyle burst through the door all laughing together and running.  
  
“We have a great idea for tonight.” Lonnie said through heavy breaths, she was panting and sweating as they all laughed. “Since we so did so well in training today, no thanks to Catra-”  
  
Catra hissed from her blanket and Adora squeezed her hand again.  
  
“We want to play a game, truth or dare.”  
  
Catra groaned, “Seriously? That’s a kids game that we used to do when we were bored. We have real stuff going on now, Lonnie.”  
  
“Come on, Catra. Jump down from your high horse for a minute and have fun for once.”  
  
Adora stood up quickly to stand in the middle of the two groups. “There’s no need to get nasty, guys. Catra did great in training, if we really want to have fun we can leave everything behind. We all have off days… I mean.. Catra isn’t having an off day, she just likes to be outside… Sometimes.” Adora nervously turned back to Catra who was glaring at her. “Anyway! Let’s just play, it’ll be fun for all of us to cool down.”  
  
“Adora.” Catra groaned as she stood up from the bed with the blanket wrapped around her. Adora once again reached out and squeezed Catra’s hand. Letting her know if she needed to stop playing the game or needed to be away from the group, Adora would get them out of there.  
  
Catra seemed to relax enough for Adora to feel some peace. She just wanted to make sure she was okay. She thought she might be overdoing the hand squeeze technique, but she liked to make herself explicitly clear. She would always be there.  
  
She would never admit it to Catra, but she knew that Catra liked to make her work for it. She knew she purposefully pulled away so that Adora would try harder. It didn’t bother her, she had been thinking about it for a while. At first she didn’t think it was fair, she had proved to Catra that she would always be there for her. But something she thought Catra didn’t even know herself was the hurt in her voice every time she said “Promise?” or “Stay.” To Adora. Adora knew she needed the extra reassurance, and she would always be there to give it to her. She knew one day Catra would be able to fully believe her. And until that day, Adora would be there to reassure her every time.  
  
“Fine, let’s play.” Catra said rolling her eyes simultaneously leaning her head on Adora’s shoulder.  
  
Lonnie cheered, they all grabbed blankets from their beds and sat on the floor. Kyle had a pile of stolen ration bars that Lonnie had supposedly made him steal. He gave one to each person before he pulled out something else from under his bed. “Please don’t tell Shadow Weaver about this.” He said worriedly as he pulled out a bottle.  
  
“What is that?” Adora asked, eyeing the bottle in his hand.  
  
Rogelio grumbled and they all nodded listening to him. “He’s right.” Kyle said pointing to the bottle. “I stole it from one of the guards… It’s.. alcohol.”  
  
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea…” Adora said, “If we get caught…”  
  
“Oh my god Adora, you’re such a loser.” Catra laughed.  
  
“Yeah!” Kyle said back, “I mean… Sorry, no.”  
  
“Shut up, Kyle.” Catra hissed.  
  
Adora hid her smile with the back of her hand. _We always stand up for each other_ , she thought. It always made her happy.  
  
“Drink if you’re not scared.” Lonnie taunted looking directly at Catra. Adora shot her a “Don’t fuck with me” glance and Lonnie rolled her eyes.  
  
They passed the bottle around. Lonnie coughed a little after drinking and Adora could tell that Catra used every bone in her body to keep a straight face after she swallowed. Adora drank some and started gagging. Everyone in the group started to laugh but she didn’t mind. Even when she saw Catra laughing at her she could still see the look of fondness on her face, and that’s all that she needed.  
  
The game started off almost silly, they dared Kyle to lick the floor and Catra could not stop laughing. Adora was daring people to do things that she knew specifically would make Catra laugh. They kept drinking until Adora started to feel warm and a little tipsy. They had never drank before, she didn’t really know what was going to happen.  
  
After they made Kyle run around shirtless quacking like a duck (Catra again could not stop laughing), it was Lonnie’s turn.  
  
“Okay, Catra.” Lonnie smirked. “Truth or dare?”  
  
“Dare.”  
  
Adora looked back and forth between the looks on both of their faces and started to feel a nudge of jealousy tug at her heart. She shot it down in her mind, _Why would I be jealous_? Her mind started going a million miles a minute as she quickly came to the conclusion that Catra just looking at someone else made her jealous. She started to feel her body get hot and she snapped herself out of it.  
  
“I dare you to kiss me.” Lonnie said smugly. The group went silent and everyone stared at Lonnie in disbelief.  
  
“No way.” Catra said, shutting her down. “Not doing that.”  
  
“You’re backing down from a dare?”  
  
“You’re drunk.” Catra shot back glaring at her.  
  
Adora felt dizzy, she couldn’t even process what was happening. She started to feel tears well up in her eyes but she brushed them away. “Why would you even suggest that?” Adora said butting in.  
  
“We’re doing baby stuff.” Lonnie said. “I just wanted to see what Catra would back away from. Since she always has up a front.”  
  
“That’s too far.” Adora said, was she yelling? She didn’t know if she was yelling. She felt like she was going to throw up. She kept looking at Catra’s face for confirmation that this wasn’t going to happen.  
  
“Fine.” Lonnie said, crossing her arms. “Then kiss Adora.”  
  
“Oooooo” Kyle gasped, “That’s a good one.”  
  
“That’s not a good one.” Catra hissed.  
  
“I mean, I, that would be, I mean, we should maybe go - go to bed?” Adora stumbled over her words.  
  
“Then you’re both pussies.” Lonnie smirked.  
  
“I mean isn’t Catra-?” Kyle started but Catra hissed at him again. “I was just saying like, technically..”  
  
“Shut up, Kyle. Seriously” Catra said, pressing her hand to her forehead.  
  
Adora didn’t know to differentiate her feelings swirling around her mind. She couldn’t decide if she was hurt that Catra considered kissing Lonnie or that she was upset that Catra didn’t want to kiss her. But she also didn’t know why either of those things would upset her. “I don’t want to play anymore.” Adora said as she stood up and ran out of the room.  
  
“Adora?” She heard Catra and the rest of the group call after her but she kept running down the hallway without looking back. Too many things were happening that she didn’t understand. Catra was just her friend, her best friend. Adora was friends with everyone, she didn’t have a problem with Catra becoming closer to Lonnie or to anyone. In fact, it was something she had always encouraged. _Why did this bother her so much? It was just a stupid game._  
  
She started to feel dizzy and sick partially from the running but mostly from the alcohol. She sat down and curled her knees to her chest crying.  
  
“Adora?” It was Catra running - fast. Adora tried to stand up again to sprint away but Catra was already there by her side. “What’s wrong?” She brought Adora toward her body and held her immediately. “I’ve never seen you freak out like that.”  
  
“Go away.” Adora started crying harder but didn’t pull away from Catra.  
  
“It’s probably just the alcohol.” Catra said gently. She pulled Adora’s hair out of her ponytail and started to run her hands through it to calm her down. Adora couldn’t stop crying.  
  
“We’ve both just had an emotional day, huh? I mean, more you than me, you know, because I’m fine.”  
  
“Catra just shut up for a second.” Adora sobbed into her chest. “Can I please just cry?”

**_Catra_ **

“Can I please just cry?”  
  
Catra was shocked but just held Adora tighter as she cried into her arms. Even though Catra was always the one with the rough exterior, Adora was always the rock. She had never seen Adora break down like this before.  
  
The thought ran through her head again, the one she had on the roof by the ledge. _I love you_. The words felt like they were stuck in the back of her throat. She wanted more than anything in the moment to pull them out and say them. To let Adora know, to reassure her that everything was okay. That she loved her, that she could cry. Maybe it was the alcohol that was making her feel soft, she kept her mouth shut because she knew if she spoke the words would come out.  
  
“I don’t know what happened.” Adora sniffed looking up into Catra’s eyes. Catra had to turn her head away because she knew. She knew she’d say it if she looked at her any longer.  
  
“I kinda think I might be sick.” Adora cried. Without thinking Catra wiped the tears from under her eyes, and they made eye contact again.  
  
“I’ll take you to the bathroom, come on.”  
  
“It’s okay, you don’t have to.”  
  
“No, I will.” Catra said scooping Adora into her arms.  
  
“You can just go back there and kiss Lonnie.”  
  
The words were said so harshly that Catra dropped Adora out of shock. She had never heard Adora speak that way to her before. _Drunk Adora is really something else._  
  
“Why would I do that?” Catra was trying to hold back the hurt in her voice.  
  
Adora was on the floor and hiding her face in her hands. “Just go.” She said, she still could not seem to stop crying.  
  
“Adora?” Catra kneeled down next to her. “Sorry for dropping you. It was a reflex.”  
  
“Go be with Lonnie.”  
  
Catra laughed but stopped herself. “What are you even talking about dummy? Let’s go to bed.”  
  
“Go!”  
  
Catra jumped on top of Adora and pinned her down. “I am not leaving. I don’t want to go be with Lonnie. She was being stupid, it was a game. I want to be here with you.”  
  
Adora wiped away her tears and looked up at Catra again. Catra tried to look away but Adora touched her face. “You want to be here with me?”  
  
“You really are drunk.”  
  
“So are you!”  
  
“Am not!”  
  
“Maybe I shouldn’t drink ever again.”  
  
“That’s probably a good idea.” Catra started to get up but Adora pulled her back down.  
  
“I’m not a pussy.” Adora said, staring at Catra directly. Catra tried to get up but again Adora pulled her down. “I’m not.”  
  
“Let’s go to bed.”  
  
“Kiss me.” Adora said, she stumbled over her words but they still came out. Catra felt her ears start to ring. It felt like the anxiety that had come over her earlier in the day, but it was more than that. The I Love You was still there ready to be said but Catra was pushing it down more and more.  
  
“You. Are. Drunk.”  
  
Adora sat up and looked at Catra with such a soft look that it made Catra’s heart hurt. “Kiss me.” Adora said again.

**_Adora_ **

Adora was justifying to herself that the words were coming out because of the alcohol and because she didn’t want to back down from the dare. She felt too sick and too drunk to try to reconcile with the hurt she had been feeling, just at the possibility of Catra kissing someone else. She didn’t know what to do with it, but in her intoxicated brain she thought this might work. She would kiss her and know that she was just being silly, they were just friends. _Right?  
_  
“Do you really not want to?” Adora whispered. Catra kept avoiding her glance; she placed her hand on her cheek and turned her face back toward her.  
  
Catra looked at her for a long time without saying anything. Adora felt her heart rate pick up and she started to feel more desperate; it felt like a lifetime before Catra responded. “Not like this.”  
  
“What do you mean not like this?” Adora whispered almost begging. “What do you mean? In a different way?”  
  
“Not when you’re drunk and confused, okay?”  
  
“So when I am sober and sane you would?”  
  
“Not what I said.”  
  
Adora was way too aware that Catra was still on top of her. She wanted to keep pushing Catra about the kiss, but part of her was too afraid to hear her say no just as much as the other part was nervous for her to actually say yes.  
  
“Will you pick me up and bring me to bed?” Adora whispered. She noticed immediately that Catra’s face dropped into a look of disappointment. She decided not to say anything. Catra scooped her up into her arms and carried her back to their room.  
  
The lights were off and everyone was already asleep. Catra laid Adora down on her bed, she grabbed her blanket from the top bunk and curled up next to her.  
“Will you play with my hair again?” Adora asked quietly.  
  
Catra didn’t say anything but started to run her fingers through Adora’s hair really gently, if she got to a spot where Adora’s hair was tangled she would slowly part it and brush through. Adora had never been the one who needed to be taken care of. But it felt really good.  
  
The thought didn’t come as a surprise. It wasn’t confusing like it had been in the midst of everything, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. _I love you_. When she decided to finally let the thought sit in her mind without shoving it away, she started to cry once again into Catra’s chest. Catra didn’t ask any questions, just pulled her in closer to her chest, squeezed her hand, and let her fall asleep.

**_Catra_ **

As Adora was sleeping in her arms, something that had never happened before, Catra started to feel tears well up in her eyes. Her whole life they were told not to show weakness, not to be anything other than strong. She didn’t know if being in love was strong or if it was weak. She didn’t know when exactly the thought had first occurred to her. Maybe it was the millionth time Adora reached out to her that night when she was on the roof. Assuring her that even when she was anxious and out of control, Adora would be there. She had always assumed it was a feeling of strong friendship, at least that’s what she told herself.  
  
Every time Adora reached out, she felt assured. When Adora ran out of the room after being dared to kiss her, Catra felt almost heartbroken for a split second. Adora wasn’t there to assure her that things were okay with them. She ran away.  
  
Did she love her? Or did she just want to kiss her for the dare because she felt embarrassed? Catra didn’t know if it was something she should ever bring up again. With Adora being the most vulnerable she had ever seen her, Catra stared up at the top bunk and let the thought stay in her mind. _I love you.  
_  
And she knew this time for sure, it was not in a friend way. She loved her. It hurt in the worst way possible. She didn’t know if she was ever going to be able to tell her. Because if Adora didn’t love her back, the consequences of opening up and daring to show emotion past her tough exterior felt devastating. She always prepared for the worst, there was no way this was going to be easy.  
  
But in that moment as Adora slept in her arms, she let the hurt melt away and let it feel good. She loved her. She let herself accept it in that moment, she knew it’d have to be a secret, probably for a long time. But for the first time in a while, she just let herself feel everything. She loved her. And it felt good.

**_Adora_**

The next morning, Adora woke up confused and with the worst headache. Catra handed her the hair tie that she uses to tie her hair up, it had still been on her wrist.  
“Good Morning sunshine.” Catra laughed.  
  
“I feel awful.” Adora groaned, rubbing her temples. “Did we stay up really late?”  
  
“Do you not remember?”  
  
Adora didn’t understand the sudden drop in Catra’s demeanor. “I remember playing the game, I don’t remember much after, I don’t think.”  
  
Catra stood up off of the bed and started to walk away. “I’m going to breakfast, I’ll save you a seat if you want.” Adora was shocked at how cold and sharp those words felt, but she brushed it off assuming Catra had slept badly.  
  
“Good morning, Adora.” Kyle laughed passing by her. “Are you coming?” He said motioning toward the door.  
  
“Yeah, I’m coming.”  
  
“Did you and Catra end up kissing after Lonnie’s dare?”  
  
Adora felt herself jump and looked up at Kyle in confusion. “Oh no.” She whispered.  
  
Kyle shrugged and walked out the door leaving Adora alone in the room. She suddenly remembered everything. Her begging Catra to kiss her in the hallway. The wave of embarrassment made her lay back down in her bed and pull the blanket all the way over her. She didn’t know how to face Catra after that. Even if she didn’t immediately remember everything that happened, she did remember her reconciling with her feelings as Catra held her as they slept. She loved her. And now Catra is annoyed, she thought she had pushed it too far. Maybe she ruined their friendship, all of the negative thoughts were coming at her causing her to start to cry again under the covers.  
  
That was until the blanket was pulled off of her. Catra stood over her and reached out her hand. Adora grabbed it and Catra pulled her up out of bed.  
Without saying anything Catra wiped Adora’s tears off of her face and squeezed her hand. “Let’s go get breakfast.”  
  
“I don’t really want to face everyone right now, I’m really embarrassed.”  
  
“Okay.” Catra shrugged and pushed Adora back down onto the bed. She started tickling her until Adora’s sad tears turned into ones of joy and laughter. “If you’re missing breakfast, then I am, too.”  
  
“You’re not mad at me?” Adora asked quietly.  
  
“I’d never be mad at you. Plus, you’re hilarious drunk.”  
  
“Catra? Is it okay if you hold me again for a little bit… While everyone is at breakfast?”  
  
Catra looked at Adora for a really long time before answering, for a moment she thought one of them was going to bring up last night's events. But Adora remembered that she had just told Catra she didn’t know what all had happened last night. So then, maybe Catra didn’t remember anything either.  
  
“Yeah, but this is not because I like you.” Catra smirked and pulled the blanket over them.  
 _  
Or maybe she did remember._


	2. I Love You - Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Catra say I love you for the second time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so. I wasn't going to write more of this but I wanted to write how they say I love you for the second time post the last episode of season 5. Let me know if you have anymore I love you ideas or any 'firsts' of anything that they can do together
> 
> follow me on twitter I need more friends @catrashands :)

  
They had all spent a couple of hours outside just laying down in the sun barely talking. They were all so exhausted, Catra didn’t think she had the energy to even stand up and walk home. She had not let go of Adora’s hand, her palms were starting to get sweaty but she didn’t really care. After everything that happened she still felt worried that if she let go that she would never be able to touch her again.

  
Adora broke the silence first, “Catra?” She let go of Catra’s hand and cupped her face in her hands. “Do you wanna go home?”

  
Catra was still terrified of going back to Bright Moon with everyone, after everything she had done she knew there was still so much to make up for. She didn’t realize how sick it made her feel that she would have to go back to where Queen Angella once ruled. She knew Glimmer had forgiven her a little, but she thought that Glimmer and Bow had both brushed their hurt aside because they saw how much Adora loved her. She knew she would have to continuously make up for it. But this was one of the things that hurt more, the guilt was weighing her down and hurting her chest.

  
“Are you sure it’ll be okay?” Catra asked quietly, looking into Adora’s eyes for confirmation and safety.

  
Adora smiled softly and Catra felt some of her anxiety ease up. “Of course, I’ll be there with you the whole time.”

  
Adora stood up first and grabbed Catra’s hand again to help her get up. Catra’s whole body hurt, she wanted nothing more than to just go to sleep.

  
Bow and Glimmer also stood up and they quickly brought in everyone for another group hug. “Let’s go home.” Glimmer smiled. Catra looked at Glimmer worriedly, even though Glimmer didn’t know her as well she still hoped she would be able to give her a nod of encouragement or validation. Glimmer met her eyes and smiled again. “I’m excited to show you around Bright Moon, Catra.”

  
Catra let out a sigh of relief and rested her head on Adora’s shoulder. Adora squeezed her hand. “Okay, I’m ready.”

-

  
Catra could not comprehend the size of Adora’s room. Everyone was in there together laughing and telling stories, but she could hardly pay attention. Glimmer and Bow had apparently slept in the same room as Adora most nights because she couldn’t sleep by herself. That made Catra’s body hurt more than it already did, she always wanted to be able to sleep by her. She wondered if she should tell Adora she slept on her bunk the whole time while she was away. She used her blanket because it smelled like her and cried herself to sleep when the smell wore off.

  
The rest of the princesses had already gone to bed, Scorpia had hugged her goodnight which threw her off guard. She felt conflicted because she had missed Scorpia more than she would ever admit out loud, but being touched by someone made her tense up ever since Horde Prime’s ship. Except Adora. Adora’s touch was familiar, it was what home felt like. When she had rescued her and got to touch her for the first time in three years, Catra had never felt as safe or as grateful as she did in that moment. It was like they were never apart.

  
Catra snapped out of her thoughts when Adora came and jumped on her wrapping her in a tight hug. “Hey.” Adora said into Catra’s chest.

  
“Jumping on you is supposed to be my thing.” Catra laughed but let herself melt into the hug.

  
“Are you okay? We can go to bed soon.”

  
“I’m okay.”

  
Even though they had just both told each other that they loved each other, Catra didn’t know why she was so terrified to say it again. The only person she could fully be vulnerable with was Adora, and she knew that now. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t still terrified that Adora would leave again. She tried to keep the euphoric feeling going on as long as it could while they were laying in the field, and it was almost miserable how fast that started to fade. The guilt was tearing away at her mind causing a pounding feeling in her head.

  
But Adora was never one to stop from getting to the deeper problems, Catra knew she wouldn’t let her get away without talking about it. She always reached her, she always understood her. Catra didn’t have to say anything sometimes, Adora just knew. She always knows.

  
“I’ll ask Glimmer and Bow to leave, okay?”

  
“You don’t have to.” Catra said, diverting her eyes from Adora. She knew she would start to cry if she looked into her eyes. The feeling of comfort in Adora’s subtle looks almost send her over the edge every time. Every time they had fought she knew if she looked at her long enough she would remember that she missed her. She was terrified of how her body would react, sending her into a panic where no one was around to comfort her. Because the only person who could have comforted her these past three years while they were apart was Adora. Her person, the only one who understood Catra’s anxiety or her trauma had disappeared. She had kept herself busy all these years until she was slapped in the face with reality, that she was alone. How was she not supposed to be terrified that that wouldn’t happen once again?

  
“I want to.” Adora whispered reassuringly, she cupped Catra’s cheek again and looked like she was going to lean in to kiss her forehead but turned away. Catra felt her heart drop to her stomach. _Maybe she thinks kissing me was a mistake._

  
“Hey guys,” Adora said, turning to Bow and Glimmer who were laughing together on the floor cuddled up together. “Catra and I are going to head to bed. It’s going to be weird not sleeping with the both of you.” The three of them hugged as Catra watched. She tried to stop herself from overanalyzing everything Adora kept doing or saying. She kept searching for validation in every movement she made, in every tone shift or eye glance, but every time she calmed herself down the guilt came back again and again.

  
Bow and Glimmer started to walk out of the room but they both came back and hugged Catra. Catra forced herself not to flinch and actually enjoy the warmth of the two of them. She looked to Adora for confirmation that everything was okay and Adora gave her the soft smile indicating that she was safe. Glimmer kissed her on the cheek and they both walked out.

  
Catra’s heart rate immediately sped up now that she was alone with Adora. She felt herself starting to panic, her breathing was becoming irregular and her vision was blurry. Without saying a word Adora ran over to her and squeezed her hand.

  
“Everything is okay, Catra. We’re safe now. Etheria is safe. We don’t have anything to worry about.”

  
Catra didn’t say anything back, so Adora kept pushing. Catra knew in these moments that she needed to start letting Adora in more easily, that she needed to stop trying to see if Adora would keep trying. It wasn’t fair anymore.

  
“Everyone is glad you’re here. You helped save everyone, you saved me. I want you here.”

  
Catra pulled Adora down by the collar of her shirt so that she was laying on top of her. “Promise?” Catra whispered.

  
“I promise.” Adora said as she curled up on top of Catra. “I will always remind you that I want you here.”

  
She felt herself relax again, especially with the pressure of Adora on top of her that helped herself be grounded in reality. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this tired in my life.” Catra laughed as Adora stood up and grabbed Catra’s hand to pull her up.

  
“Let’s get ready for bed.”

  
They didn’t let go of each other's hands as they walked to the bed by the window. Catra still couldn’t believe how beautiful the stars looked in the sky. The view from Bright Moon was incomparable to the one from the Horde, it brought so much more comfort. She had been worried that sleeping away from the Fright Zone would be difficult, but Bright Moon was serene, and also of course, Adora was here.

  
When Adora had to drop Catra’s hands so they could change, she helped Catra get her shirt off so she was standing there in her sports bra. Catra felt her face get flushed as she looked down at herself. Adora took off her own shirt and Catra closed her eyes because she knew she’d do something embarrassing if she dared to look. Even if Adora was just in a tank top - it didn’t matter.

  
Adora climbed into bed first pulling the blanket over her. Catra didn’t know if she should ask if she was allowed to sleep in the same bed as her. Maybe she could curl up at the end of the bed or ever sleep on the floor. It wasn’t until Adora patted the empty space on the bed looking up at her with the softest eyes that Catra decided to snuggle right up to her.

  
Somehow the anxiety of being so close to Adora, touching, cuddling, feeling her breath near her face made her almost sick from her feelings, it was at the same time the most comfortable she had felt in a while. She turned to face Adora and wrapped her arms around her torso so that she was laying with her head tucked into her neck. Adora softly played with Catra’s hair and rubbed her back. The racing thoughts started to lose traction and slow down, she could calm down now.  
“Adora?” Catra whispered, she felt her voice start to break and the tears she had been holding in were coming to the surface. “I’m still scared about being here. I feel like everyone hates me still, I feel like I don’t belong.” She decided it was okay to let herself start to cry, even though she was worried she wouldn’t be able to stop.

  
“I will always look out for you, Catra. I will always be there if you start to feel anxious about being in this new place with new people. We just went through something, I think, that would be considered traumatic. You’ve been proving yourself to me and to everyone around us that you are working on mending everything that’s happened. You should acknowledge all the work you’ve started to do, it’s a big deal. I am proud of you, and I always will be. I got you, so everything is going to be okay.”

  
Catra started to fully sob as each word fell out of Adora’s mouth, she didn’t feel like she deserved it but she allowed herself to accept it and believe her. That’s all she could do was believe her, she didn’t have another choice. And Adora also had proved to her that she could, she needed to trust that at this moment there was no way Adora could be lying.

  
Adora wiped Catra’s tears away from her eyes and kissed her forehead for real this time. Catra looked up at her almost in disbelief by the sign of affection. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” Adora said, as she pulled away a little bit. “If you aren’t comfortable with, I don’t know, kissing, we don’t have to -”

  
“You’re being an idiot.” Catra mumbled. She reached out and pulled Adora back toward her. “Listen, okay? I’m just, I’m just worried that you’ll leave me again. I know you’ve made it clear that you want me, and… I know I want you. There’s just a voice in my head that’s telling me the opposite of what you’re showing me. I don’t know what to do about it.”

  
“I will help you through it. You don’t even need to ask. You know I will reassure you whenever you need it.”

  
“It doesn’t feel fair to ask that of you, okay?”

  
“Catra,” Adora said, shaking her, “That’s what people who love each other do. They help each other with things. They reassure each other. I know what you’ve gone through, I know you. I want to be there to help you until you believe me. It’s okay to ask for what you need.”

  
Catra could barely get the words out through her tears, “You still love me?”

  
Adora laughed as she tilted Catra’s head up so they were looking into each other's eyes. “I always have and I always will.”

  
“I love you, too.” Catra smiled and let Adora pull her closer so that they were kissing again. She had been worrying all day that it would never happen again, but she knew this time that after the kiss ended that there would be so many more to come.

  
She let herself feel, she let herself be happy even if it was just for that moment.


End file.
